Date: Thu, 18 Apr 1996
To: spacenet@hazmat.com
From: alh@radix.net (Ann Hyde)
Subject: Spacenet Haiku Contest

In honor of the Clintons not tossing tofu on anybody's lap, the fragile moment
has come to honor a Japanese art form: the haiku.

_Announcing_the_Spacenet_Haiku_Contest_

1. What is haiku?
It's that stuff you had to do in 3rd grade when you were learning "syllabication". A poem consisting
of three lines, the first line being 5 syllables long. You might have started by writing, "H R Puffinstuff."
The second line is 7 syllables, "he's your friend when things get rough." The concluding line is 5 syllables,
"his head scares me though." It would look something like this:

H R Puffinstuff
he's your friend when things get rough,
his head scares me though.

2. As with many art forms, haiku reeks of inexplicable profundity. The Zen of nature is omnipresent,
as in the following example:

A plane ride, tiny
butts face the earth and move quick
as though embarassed

On an Amiga
Mosaic I use to surf
I can't see graphics.

We climbed until we
reached the top, I waived goodbye
and watched her drop

One piece of white bread
peanut butter and jelly
One piece of white bread

3. Any other rules? Well, at least one of the haikus should have something to do with Spacenet.
Other than that, submit as many as you like (they seem funnier in groups of three or so).
Winner gets a cyberbeer on the Web page, a sprig of cherry blossom and a date with Hsing-Hsing.

Ummm...uh, twist my arm and I'll start. Otay:

What ever happened
to "Photocopy Yer Face?"
It's not, like, phallic.

Last time I had Pabst
I committed bushuru
taste bootie-licious

Testing 1-2-3
Will Dean ever check email?
you in a dress, wow

---a

Ann:

Possibilities
For writing bad English prose
Unfold endlessly

---------- Forwarded message ----------
>15 ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM U.S. CHURCH BULLETINS

>1. Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

>2. Thursday night--potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

>3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

>4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we
>have a nursery downstairs.

>5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the
>birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

>6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and
>north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

>7. Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All
>ladies giving milk will please come early.

>8. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs.
>Jones will sing Put Me In My Little Bed accompanied by the pastor.

>9. Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
> All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his study.

>10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
>forward and lay an egg on the altar.

>11. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water." One
>of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the
>congregation will join in.

>12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray
>the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on
>the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

>13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
>kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

>14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
>church hall. Music will follow.

>15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
>"What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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