A Guide to Self-Control
From: "Ann L. Hyde" <alh@radix.net>
Subject: Steps in Overcoming Masterbation
Excerpt from a Mormon missionary guide, circa 1970:
Steps in Overcoming Masterbation,
Mark E. Petersen
- Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during
normal toilet processes.
- If you are associated with other persons having this same
problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate
with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that
two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get
away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence
will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must
be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists.
Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
- When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the
most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you
cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be
difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes.
By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would
have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation
would leave you.
- If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET
OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK,
even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are
not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The
purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON
SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to
speak.
- Never read pornographic material. Never read about your
problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought,
then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not
allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish
that, you soon will be free of the act.
- Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for
that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray
for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for
the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your
families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT
MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN
YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!
- Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and
learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of
developing friendships found in books such as _How to Win
Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.
- Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it
with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self
control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have _no
black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of
self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to
add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at
least three clear months.
- In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective
technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think
of something very distasteful with something which has been
pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and
feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If
you associate something very distasteful with your loss of
self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if
you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a
tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
- Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of
fluids before retiring.
- Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as
lightly as possible at night.
- Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that
might create sexual excitement.
- It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in
overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand,
even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
- In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the
bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in
a semi-sleep condition can be broken.
- Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude
patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up.
Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental
attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will
feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and
spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
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