DICTIONARY OF DATING

ATTRACTION

the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT

what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING

the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL

avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY

a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT

a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND

a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE

a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING

a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT

what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY

how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC

a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER

condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love